Avenue Lifestyle: Do I Still Have Sex Appeal?

Avenue Lifestyle: Do I Still Have Sex Appeal?

(Cake looks and tastes good. We often want to look and feel like it. Some of us feel like we're without the icing and sprinkles)

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Happy Month Of Love everybody!! 

We all have that question: Am I sexually attractive? Sometimes it's after giving birth, gaining weight, losing weight or a self esteem issue and wondering if people find us attractive or not. It's a painful phase to go through, some overcome it and some struggle with it everyday. Even the most good looking people find themselves in this space.

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Sexy to some is an outfit, a pair of shoes, a hat, lingerie, a fragrance, a kiss, a feeling...it depends on the person but we all want to feel it and at times when we look in the mirror we don't see it. Why?

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A lot of people take more than 10 pictures to get the right one because they don't feel comfortable or content in their own skin, appearance and it makes them feel like they need extra effort to feel good. No one wants to be seen as "crusty" it's always us trying to look good even at 5am. Some wake up and freshen up then go back to bed so their partners can always see them as "beautiful" #IWokeUpLikeThis till you get caught. 

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We can blame the beauty industry all we want but everyday on social media we're always tearing each other apart. It's crazy how people can be against plastic surgery but then we call people ugly, force them to change themselves and when they do, we call them out for not embracing their natural beauty, this needs to stop. The measure of beauty or reference has made us cruel even to ourselves. As a guy I've heard other guys say "Men aren't supposed to be pretty or handsome, we're ugly" it felt like a defense mechanism and it bothered me how most men never open up about being bullied they just put up a fake firewall that isn't effective at all. The virus always thrives in shaming and degrading.

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True beauty is within they say but the outside is something shamed. People come in different shapes and styles some we applaud and some we shame. It's become a norm. Many women after pregnancy don't feel beautiful, some hit the gym and others have no time, they're too busy parenting that they end up in a space where they don't have "Me Time" to a point where they barely look in the mirror or have nothing good to say about themselves whenever they come across their reflection. Some gain weight and no longer feel beautiful, some lose weight and they feel like they've lost it all "gone is that fine body I had, why did I have to lose my weight? Those thick thighs, big bass is gone" 

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As cliche as I'm gonna be, we fail to appreciate ourselves in the times we feel the worst. We stand next to others and feel inferior. A lot of guys are shamed for having a big belly or the standard is a guy with a six pack, thankfully as times are changing, people are warming up to the diversity in men too. 

So don't love to hate yourself. It starts with you. Give yourself some love. I've had my moments of shame and inferiority where I lost weight, I saw the looks I got, I knew that when I left they'd make me the topic of their conversation but I didn't care because I survived something that was quite an awful experience. I had moments where I missed my former appearance, certain details that were no longer there but I found myself falling in love with myself, appreciating Me without others having to approve or disapprove. I came to a place of comfort. When I look in the mirror I say good things to myself and I genuinely smile. All the negative things people said about my body or looks became irrelevant. I always tell people: Someone can meet you at the grocery store while you don't look your best and ask you out" sometimes it's not about how you look when glammed up. Some parts of your body had you bullied, an outcast, social reject but this doesn't give you the platform to reject yourself because you are BEAUTIFUL. VERY BEAUTIFUL. 

You can sing out loud: I'm ATTRACTIVE AND I KNOW IT. BECAUSE YOU ARE. 

To all the men and women out there, you're special and authentic, let nobody tone you down or their opinion make you second guess. 20 million people can say the nicest thing and you'd have a hard time believing it but 1 person would say something mean and it would bother you, ruin your day and take you into depression. Don't victimize yourself or allow others to. Be powerful enough to Love even when hated even by yourself. 

Thank You For Joining Us.

Until Next Time.

Facebook: Mzansi Avenue

Twitter: @Mzansi_Avenue