Avenue Lifestyle: I Don't Think I Love Him/Her Anymore!

 Avenue Lifestyle: I Think I Don't Love Him/Her Anymore

RDNE Stock project/Pexel 

So sometimes we fall in love with someone, go on a romantic journey for a destination of till death do us part, oh not cheating or ghosting...but things don't always go according to plan. A moment on the lips can make one think you're walking down the aisle after getting down on one knee, run away bride anyone? At least throw the bouquet before you leave! Someone is next in line to fall in love.

Masha S/ Unsplash Images 

The butterflies we get when it's fresh and new, it's such a euphoric moment isn't it? As if you're frolicking in a field of flowers and living the dream but the problem is that we don't maintain it, that once we get familiar with it, we keep it going, we just expect the flow to always be there even when we are on trial, the hardest times we face in order to save or break the relationship. It's like wanting autopilot all the time and never taking the steering the wheel, when we aren't in control...we have no direction and that's when we crash and burn! Somebody call emergency assist unless this relationship doesn't have insurance. Yikes! 

You no longer feel that breathtaking atmosphere anywhere instead it's different emotions that now take control of you and make you self sabotage your own happiness. Don't get me wrong there are cases where you fall out of love with someone or love them but have more conflict which has no compromise or a happy resolution so it's better to part ways than ruin each other. But if you just think the honeymoon phase is over it's because you allowed it to. When data runs out don't we load more? Unless we're out of credit, that would mean you're no longer in the relationship but since you are, make it work. 

You can't always expect the food to cook itself. To chop itself up. A relationship requires two people to make it work. If both of you just enjoy a feeling and when its gone you're like "maybe I made a mistake I don't think I'm in love" no, it's because you now have the responsibility. You got together, it is amazing but now maintain that, do you have the willingness? The storage for it? Or is it just too much work? Sometimes fears creep in such as commitment, having to be responsible and it's not comfortable at all, it's very challenging. Many people break like eggs in this case and not to make omelettes, because they're on the floor, ruined. So ask yourself if you're not scared of taking the steering wheel or not because it's easier to run from accountability than to step into it. 

Knowing you have to be loyal, many requirements for a relationship especially the monogamous kind. Having to be faithful, put in the effort even during the stormy seasons of the relationship. Your boyfriend or girlfriend will have a weakness or a strength that gets in the way of the relationship it could be a drinking problem, pornographic or shopping addiction, cheating, commitment issues or even their success, yes! Having to feel like second best to their career or calling if they are a Pastor/Prophet. 

It's about finding a way to stand united even in unfavorable seasons, you love each other enough not to let anything bring in tension. 

Renate Vanaga/ Unsplash Images 

Brian Lundquist/ Unsplash Images 

Hey it's not the movies where you can take the tension and have angry sex that may seem pleasurable but as it progresses resentment, doubt and other negative emotions knock on your door, once you open they come in and you unfortunately host them in your head and heart, the torture brings out the worst in you that in every conversation or situation you start a fight because you're feeding on what isn't good for you or your relationship. How do you avoid this?

Communication and clarity, working as a team to save and protect the relationship. You won't always agree, you won't always have a great time in bed, the sex won't always steal the show, at times you may want to get away from each other only to miss each other afterwards. It's not rocket science but it isn't as simple as making cereal. No wait, what goes in first? The milk or the cereal in the bowl? Just kidding everybody knows it's the cereal, duh! You need to know how to remember that we're supposed to be in love, how did we step out of love and find ourselves against each other? "how did we get here?" Retrace your steps and fix it. No shifting the blame. It takes two to love and two to fight. 

Gaspar Zaldo/ Unsplash Images 

The journey to love isn't easy some never reach the marriage house. It's usually before the engagement, before the wedding, not even 20 days. You can ask someone out today, make it official with them only to meet another person who seems 2x better but learn the hard way that you're insatiable or you can have chemistry with someone who isn't meant to be yours and this happens during the trial. 

So if you think you don't love him/her anymore. Think it through. You could just be scared of responsibility, committing to someone or underlying issues such as abandonment. I could go on for days but evaluate yourself. We know ourselves than we let on. 

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Hope This Was Helpful. 

Mzansi Avenue.