Avenue Lifestyle: The Duty Of A Husband

Avenue Lifestyle: The Duty Of A Husband....

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The Husband. He's the head of the house, more responsibilities seem to be on him and he has to step up or be that man who is seen as "He married that poor girl just to suffer with her" 

Many marriages fail when the Husband is off duty. It's not always about the Job. There are different triggers. Some have good paying jobs but are hardly home and the wife gets lonely, she feels like the job gets more attention, the mind starts wandering and the divorce conversation is brought to the table or worse!! Cheating... because when we're most vulnerable we indulge, we invite or long for comfort sometimes it leads to unfaithfulness, a shoulder to cry on is now more than that. 

At times the Husband can be home but just because he's not working, he's a turn off. No matter what he does the wife finds it useless and it creates tension, unnecessary fights. Everything becomes toxic even for the kids because they have a live soap opera at play when they should be watching anime. The marriage becomes more about surviving, bills and people's opinions. Not many survive this storm because being broke breaks two people apart if they give in. 

Or let's say the husband is working, makes time for family but somehow his bedroom game has taken a knock or he doesn't seem exciting like that male friend you met who feels dreamy and you have lengthy conversations, can't stop thinking about him, you start to question if you married the one, well sweetheart don't get it twisted you tied the knot right? So why start sidelining someone you made vows to for someone who seems to "understand" don't you know that affairs aren't resolutions? Marriage isn't easy and yet there are many things that can easily end it. It starts with one small fight, looking elsewhere and boom the journey to the end is set. 

The Husband won't always be evenly distributed or come with everything you need. You may have to make room for your husband's flaws. The perfect partner is more of an expectation to an illusion that never plays well where reality is concerned. It's easy to leave someone when we see their faults or they can't seem to attend the desired expectation because we all know our worth and at times it's a form of self sabotage. 

Or asking a man if you can pay for the dowry/lobola they often find themselves feeling useless and it creates tension. No man wants to feel or appear weak especially (to) their partner. The Duty of a husband varies and every man is different, the delivery is different as well. So it's better to seek caution when going for clear communication. Some men won't admit they need help but at times they find themselves drowning in debt or stress because they can't say "Honey we need to cut costs or can you please help with the bills? I know I said I don't want you to get a job but..." They get scared the conversation may take a different turn and would be called on "But you said you'll take care of me so now I must help you take care of me?" Another alarm is the whole "Me" marriage requires two people to work, "Let's take care of us and our kids" at times we give sole entitlement in team effort. When it's one in the cold so the other can enjoy the warmth it can create trouble when push comes to shove. 

The husband won't always be spot on as the breadwinner, as the best performing romantic in and out of the bedroom. Remember that even the best quality phone crash or act up but it's about supporting someone back up and ensuring they are at their best. So if he loses the job or the spark in your sex life, if he seems distant try couple's therapy or reach out in peace, don't start a war of words because you see a change that is unsettling. It's like women when they suffer from Postpartum depression...it requires love, patience, understanding and consistent support. 

Both parties should be ready to host each other in the best or the worst so they can survive and not allow the troubles drown what they have. 

So if you have a husband, be his biggest support system whether both of you have the same responsibilities because if both of you root for each other, it can create assurance, reliance and openness so no one can run to other people or drinking, drugs, gambling to numb the pain or avoid it. We are at our best when we are loved even through the toughest times. So let's be together at all times not only when the conditions are comfortable. 

What are you and your husband going through? How has it affected your marriage?

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Avenue Lifestyle.