PsychUp Avenue: Toxic Relationships

 Toxic Relationships

There are always misunderstandings and arguments in relationships that are caused by a number of factors, mostly due to miscommunication or rather a lack of effective communication. Sometimes people fail to compromise or maybe just expect too much from the other person, but then exactly how much is too much? 

As much as arguments get out of hand, at which point does the argument or arguments become toxic? Where do we draw the line in relationships? Do we continue to ignore the red flags even when the relationship is unhealthy? How does one know that their relationship is toxic? 

There are not set of rules to define a toxic relationship, but here are a few warning signs to look out for:

1. You feel drained: A relationship should not have to suck the life out of you, so if you constantly feel drained because of your relationship, then it could be a red flack of toxicity. This draining could ever be mental or physical, so it is important to listen to what your body says to you.

2. Your partner always finds something wrong with you: Well, we all believe that you build the kind and type of partner that you want to have and speak out when you are not satisfied about something, but if your partner always finds something wrong with you constantly, that just might be a red flag. It is okay for your partner to give suggestions on areas of improvement, especially when you ask them, but if they constantly suggest to you improve here, do this, do that without you asking, then it's okay to question the relationship

3. Your partner lowers your self-esteem: Your self-esteem is very important, everyone should feel good about themselves. Not everyone will like you for who you are, but your partner should be the last person to bring you down. If they constantly criticize you in a negative manner, then watch out! 

4. Your partner is jealous and controlling: When you think of a jealous person you always imagine the obvious, but this comes in many different forms. When your partner FREQUENTLY checks up on you, it's not really a good thing, if they are always calling to check-up on your where-about, who you are with or what you are doing, it stops being romantic and becomes a problem. Next thing they will constantly check your phone activity and guard the people you go out with. It can get really creepy!

5. You feel trapped in the relationship: Most toxic people are very manipulative and this can be difficult to pinpoint, you will find yourself tip-toeing around your partner just to make sure you don't offend them. A manipulative partner will most likely find a way to always make you feel like you are the one in the wrong, even though you are not, they'll always play the victim. Leaving the relationship becomes easier said than done and often feels like leaving the relationship will cause more grief and heartache than staying in the relationship.  

There are a whole more red flags to look out for, but these highlighted ones are just to most common ones. If you ever find yourself unsure in your relationship, then it's okay to be selfish a bit and ask "Am I really happy in this relationship? Is this what I want?" If you ever find yourself in such a situation, then pull yourself together, get out of that toxicity, detox and start over again.

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Written by: Sthembiso Godi