The Sunday Confessions with McKing: He's a Flower not a Cactus
The Sunday Confessions with McKing: The Guy is a Flower not a Cactus.
So I'm back with my sophomore confession and I must say it's something I never expected. So let's get to it.
As a guy other guys didn't classify me as one of them. I was always the different one. The one they couldn't relate to and I couldn't so the disco ball was more of a disconnect. He shoots, he misses... away from the net. I made peace with it. I made female friends easier and you may say it's because I'm fruity (what does my sexual orientation have to do with this? Okay fine it has everything to do with it, I think...)
Only a few male friends managed to understand me and welcome me to their space without trying to turn me into what society approves as a man. It felt great but still I felt like some special case. Whenever they got down and dirty, I was told to sit back. I'm too soft and it's not a job for someone like me..(Yeah you're probably thinking, wow!! Such great friends) I thought the same but at times It came across as if I'm incapable. Which stung now and again.
There's always that one guy who'd ask "Why's he sitting and not doing anything?" Well they ignored him but he kept ranting. A lot of times people would invite me to their spaces and make me feel inferior, I became the hot topic and I'd be dissed, they'd be laughing and at the end of it all say: We're just boys being boys, no hard feelings right?
So I started to alienate myself. If I'm at a party I'd be that guy sitting somewhere star gazing or on my phone to avoid being the center of attention for the wrong reasons. It's like I was a bully magnet because on the outside I seemed so soft and sweet, so I was an easy target but I knew where to draw the line as I was growing.
While I was used to the isolation, one Sunday I'm going to sit by myself and these guys are all chilling together. One of them invites Me and I almost asked "Me? You want me to sit with you? You don't find me weird or anything?" But I just nodded my head, I was expecting the usual insults but as the conversation progressed I felt like an ordinary guy around other guys. No one made me feel like an alien until I got showered with compliments. They kept going on and on about Me I felt like they were talking about a stranger. It felt good to be around people who created a safe space, a brotherhood like environment where everyone no matter our differences, we just were united. It's not about the compliments but how no one went out his way to make me feel like I'm a mistake, I'm a joke or something negative. I was truly stunned.
So I confess not all spaces are gonna make you feel horrible and that not everyone invites you to the table to serve you bones and cold coffee. I maintained distance to protect my peace not knowing some actually have good intentions and I missed out on that. I'm glad I took the invite. It's like Clark Kent having dinner with Lex not knowing the chicken is stuffed with kryptonite. This was my expectation but instead it had no kryptonite just genuine friendship and a good conversation.
This is a great read.
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