Avenue Lifestyle: Morning Wood

Avenue Lifestyle: Morning Wood 

Can He Rise To The Occasion?

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We often hear how a man should be and what's expected. While women are under a lot of pressure. Men find themselves in similar positions it can get toxic in relationships, friendships and on a professional level. 

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Some men believe having a female boss is wrong. No man should ever report to a woman, such a mindset makes them stubborn and vicious. Men are said to be intimidated by a woman who earns more than them. It's more of a power play of who should be dominant. 

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A lot of men receive power and don't know how to function in that space. They want to heard, obeyed and feel in control but they're not. They're most of the time controlled by insecurities and other external factors that mess with their reflection. Societal standards and expectations of how a man should be. A lot of times we think men are intimidated by a woman's success because he's supposed to be the head but it's more of a "What will people say about Me?" The man is worried about how people will view everything and also that she can attract men who can "afford" her but if he earns more he feels a sense of control and advantage in the relationship. "I'm the provider" NOTE: NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS. 

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Men feel stripped of their duty if the woman is paying most of the bills and he's just told to turn his salary into pocket money or buy nonessentials. It makes him feel like less of a man and the conflict builds up. From morning wood to deadwood, he can't rise to the occasion. So communication would help, where the matter can be addressed, roles are played in any relationship and if one partner is now doing everything by him/herself It's a one man show. A lot are used to the stay at home moms who run the household: cook,clean etc but the working wife is a different story. Some partners split bills and even out the expenses so they can be able to take care of each other. 

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We often take digs at toxic masculinity because we want to put an end to the crippling expectations that don't grow the man but destroy him and others in the process of meeting them. It's okay if you're a man and your Boss is a woman, your girlfriend or wife earns more than you. In other cases where it's a same sex relationships a lot of gay men struggle with their footing where one wants to be the "Man" of the relationship, the desire for control or the role is like a fear of being stripped of their manhood. What is being a Man? How do we identity a man? If men feel degraded by feminine traits or being under submission how are they okay with having power over someone? It's not an attack but a question...most of the time it's the expectation that interferes with everything. It's easy to say to a woman "You can't be in charge because women get taken advantage of by men, we don't want you to be forced to sleep with someone for a deal" yet it shows how some men can abuse their power and how some are able to use it for good but women don't get proper credit because they're the vulnerable ones but in all truth men are highly vulnerable but hide it so well in the "Men don't this but do that" schtick which is toxic. 

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Don't think your manhood is at stake because of the classic tale of societal perceptions. "Be a man, tell her to quit her job, get her pregnant, she can't earn more than you" uhh no, that won't definitely help the situation. You're becoming a gatekeeper and to partners don't look down on your guy because he's earning less or his traits make him the "soft guy" and everyone is always trying to turn him into the tough guy. 

It's all in how you treat people. You can empower them or defeat them to never get back up. Our actions say a lot. Suicide cases of internal struggles are at a high with men. Some lose themselves because they don't know how to function in those expectations so let's not box people in categories. let's let them thrive as who they are, then you'll have their best. NEVER MAKE SOMEONE FEEL LIKE THEY'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 

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