Avenue Lifestyle: Men Don't....Men Do....

Avenue Lifestyle: Men Don't...Men Do...

The suffering in silence is passed down to a generation of men and it never seems to die down. 

Men hardly open up. They bottle up emotions and pain til they reach breaking point all because they don't want to appear weak, they want to remain the head of the house who's unshakable 365 each year which is impossible. 

Most men turn to other forms of comfort from gambling, drinking, drugs, pornography or cheating because it creates an escape if the problem is at home (within) so it's easy to go outside and get distracted with temporary pleasure than to address it in fear of being seen as a weak man who shouldn't cry or show vulnerability this leads to anger issues, toxicity...the more emotions are suppressed, the more dangerous it becomes because once the glass breaks someone is going to get a deep cut. Most partners just want a man to deliver but never tap into their partner's mental, emotional and spiritual health. A relationship is an US thing not a Her or Him situation where one gives and the other takes in certain parts of the relationship. 

Women often wonder who their husband has become not knowing he's dealing with struggles he can't open up about. Guys usually say "take it like a man, we all have problems my guy" and call it a day. It's not help. Men want to be heard, someone they can vent to without feeling like they're not man enough. We can create safe spaces. 

Quinton who is a very good friend of mine is someone I can talk as we both open up about our "man struggles" without any kind of judgment, from insecurities to fears and we offer insight that helps us step into better versions of ourselves than be crippled by an expectation of how a man should be..we are manufactured but our faults feel like we've lost manhood due to the perceptions. 

As men, as partners, brothers, colleagues, strangers let's all be kind because you can save a brother out there. The signs are always there and you have to pay attention, be willing to listen with understanding so you don't lose a loved one to bad habits or suicide or you watch them drown deep under without a clue. Watch what you say "real men don't cry" is something we should ditch if we want these safe spaces to be a success. 

Don't assume everything is okay because they always seem well put together. If they don't want to disappoint you they'll give you an impression but if you look closer you'll see it's a cover up. How we talk to each other is also important it can be destructive, constructive and empowering. There are men with different personalities and so what if they don't seem man enough for you? The usual isn't the only serve out there. Let's stop trying to build toxic men and help carry on a generation of healthy men.

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